Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
