3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize