just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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