what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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