wakey wakey hands off snakey
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Randomize
