I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Randomize
