I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize