Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I could fuck to npr.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
