remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
smell my finger.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
