I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
