Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
