Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
operation have a gay friend backfired
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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