If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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