Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize