There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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