why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Randomize
