Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
