but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
