It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
