I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
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