this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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