Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
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