apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
