are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
