so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
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