that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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