Old men and throwing up are my life now.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
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