Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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