I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
