After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
