...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
