What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
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