i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I am midnight drunk by noon
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
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