She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
