We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
