Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
