When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
