my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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