You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Randomize
