I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
i love accidental penises.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
