too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I'd cum for enchiladas.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
