I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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