i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
