I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
