At least make sure they are 18
Why
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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