You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
