the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
