He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
