the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
