I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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