just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
You can't motorboat a personality
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
