Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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