Banned from zoo.
Again?
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
