I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
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