he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
