i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize