do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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