He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
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