I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
