i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I forget how to act sober
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