2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
