Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
