Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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